Some of us live our lives without knowing who we really are, bumping through days without understanding what makes us tick at our core, or why we react to situations and people the way we do. Put another way, there’s a large percentage of the population who live their lives unconsciously, disconnected from understanding their real self, not living their life vibrantly and consciously because they’ve left a part of themselves undiscovered or misunderstood.

There are many whose childhood experiences have left significant impressions on their emotional development. Some would argue this is character-building, the fuel that motivates them and the experiences that shape who they are today. Digging in and revisiting these early experiences and understanding how they affect and define one’s current emotional state, moods, motivations and reactions to people and situations will enable one to make a transition from unconsciously existing in life, and constantly being frustrated and misunderstood to living a vibrant, conscious life with a deep and clear understanding of oneself as well as being able to understand the needs and motivations of others.

Take an hour out of your week, grab a good glass of wine or a cup of coffee, find a comfortable quiet place and dig into the following questions to unlock a deeper understanding of you and what makes you tick.

Pragmatism

• How did your parents positively and/or negatively affect who you are?
• How do you see yourself today as a result of these experiences? Write out how this makes you feel.
• Describe your relationship with your parents today.
• Where are you challenged with your parents?
• What makes you insecure and uncertain?
• Where do you think your insecurities come from?
• Where do you get your confidence from?
• What early memories of childhood define how you act today?
• Have you ever been to talk to a good therapist?

Passion

• What words best describe you?
• What values do you live by?
• What gets you up every day?
• What do you love to do?
• Where do you find the most joy in your life?
• Are you making the most of your natural talents?

Purpose

• What are you doing in the world that makes a difference to others?
• Why do you get out of bed every day?
• What value do you add to your company/your family/the world?

Promise

• What guarantee do you promise in your relationships with others?
• What can others expect from you?
• What do you want to be remembered for?

Flying on a red-eye from Seattle to New York last week we were reminded that Virgin places a huge focus on delivering customer-first experiences. The flight team leader, Sharon, truly looked after us, making us feel like we were important to her and to the airline. She had amazing professionalism and was cheeky in a Virgin kind of way. We’d like to say a huge, “Thank you Sharon and your beaming smile” for making a long trip one to smile about. We highly recommend that she is mentioned in dispatches and given an award for Most Virgin-like Employee of June. Thank you for treating us the way we wish we were treated every time we fly!

Flying to Greenville, South Carolina and taking time away from my family wasn’t on the top of my list of must-dos, but Food for Thought, an event produced by Erwin-Penland, was an amazing experience to fuel the mind. From the opening speaker to the closing performer, it was a marathon of inspiring learning opportunities. Speakers with world-changing stories moved the mind in every direction while Southern hospitality was served in unique venues with an intimate guest list of 80.

The underlying and most compelling thought I walked away with is that no matter one’s background or station in life, every one of us is a walking possibility. The power of one person can make a significant difference in the lives of many if we put our minds and hearts into it.

Education was a thread expertly woven throughout the two-and-a-half days. Geoffrey Canada, the visionary social activist and educator, president and CEO of the Harlem Children’s Zone in Harlem, New York, kicked off the first night. Every bit as passionate and convincing in person as he was in the documentary, Waiting for Superman, Geoffrey’s determination and vision for how to positively impact the lives of thousands of struggling children in Harlem was clearly evident.

Fighting Absolutely Average

Doc Hendley, founder of Wine for Water and global clean-water crusader, spoke about building water wells and providing a path out of poverty for thousands. But what stuck with me about Doc was not the cause, but his determination to overcome a life-long battle with insecurity formed through his battle with  grades in school. Doc’s been fighting against the “average” label all his life. He found his passion in life accidentally, despite the school system making him feel absolutely average. The power of possibility in this one man could have been unlocked deliberately rather than by accident had the education system be designed to build up his self-esteem.

Finding Value in the Worthless: Love, Hope and Opportunity

Listening to and watching Leigh Anne Tuohy, the no-nonsense powerhouse played by Sandra Bullock in the movie The Blind Side, hold the audience captive with her magnetic energy was a privilege. It was uncanny just how well Bullock played her. Tuohy filled in the live details about her love and concern for the hopeless Michael Oher. She took major risks and crossed racial, cultural and emotional boundaries to love Michael. She made it very clear that she and her husband did not give Michael money, but rather an opportunity; one filled with love and hope for a better future. There are Michael Ohers in every hopeless community throughout the country and she challenged the audience to look inside the challenged blocks of their own communities rather than in Africa and the third world, and reminded us that there is hope in the hopeless on our doorstep if we care to engage.

Connected: Love, Death & Technology

Tiffany Shlain, Internet pioneer and acclaimed filmmaker, illustrated the power of digital connectivity and access to knowledge as she introduced her new documentary, Connected. In the middle of making the film, Tiffany’s father passed away, so what began as a project to examine connectedness between major issues like the environment, consumption, technology, human rights, and the global economy became a personal journey of discovery about connections in her own life. The film shows the beauty and tragedy of human endeavor and champions personal connection and how the “power of one” has become digitally exponential.

Fearless Bogusky Talks About a Brand For All

The fearless Alex Bogusky known for his innovative advertising work, talked about his belief in commerce and capitalism as the most powerful force for change on the planet, but how it’s in crisis. To help remedy this he talked about Common—an open-source “living network for a new brand of capitalism” that he recently launched. The service will be part-community, part-incubator, part-media channel and provide a new model for creating value for all stakeholders.

What Did Racing BMWs Have To Do With It?

Joe Erwin, the founder and president of Erwin-Penland, and the visionary behind Food for Thought, navigated the two days artfully weaving in the story of Greenville and how it evolved from a city in decline to a vibrant and thriving community of passionate business leaders, including BMW USA (we raced M-Series BMWs at their performance driving school on day two) and Michelin, who both collaborate for the greater good of Greenville. But what inspired me most was the story of Max Heller, the Holocaust survivor who became the transformational mayor of Greenville, and Joe’s reverence for this man’s vision.

Can We Fix the Education System, Please?

With Greenville’s baseball diamond as the backdrop, Sir Ken Robinson challenged the attendees in a live workshop to develop ideas in small groups to fix the problems of the current education system. Robinson outlined the significant challenges we face, from the environment and our ability to sustain the planet’s exploding population to the education system. He made the case that education doesn’t need to be reformed–it needs to be transformed. And transformation is not about standardizing education, but personalizing it. Build achievement by discovering the individual talents of each child, and put students in an environment where they want to learn and where they can naturally discover their true passions.

Great Food. Big Thinking.

Thanks Joe, your team at Erwin-Penland put on an amazing three days that fed the mind and the belly. I’ve always believed in the power of the individual, the potential of one to make a difference in the lives of thousands, and this conference underpinned that belief with every speaker.

While the news, and the rest of the world has moved on, the people of Japan are still deep in the challenges of dealing with restoration efforts. When the devastating disaster struck Japan in March of this year we felt compelled to do our part to help the people of Japan in whatever way we could.

We have a long-standing relationship with World Vision and being firm believers in their humanitarian efforts, we turned to them to see what they were doing in Japan. Right after the earthquake hit, World Vision deployed an assessment team to northern Japan from Tokyo led by a Japanese emergency response manager with experience in Haiti, Pakistan, Myanmar and the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. This team reached the city of Sendai within 48 hours of the quake and Fukushima shortly after, and they immediately began coordinating with local government officials and partner organizations to determine how to start relief operations to support children and their families. The funds they were raising were used to fund the distribution of relief supplies and the construction of “Child-Friendly Spaces” that offer psycho-social support for children affected by disasters, allowing them to resume normal childhood activities and experience structure and security that are often lost during emergency situations.

Next we got together with our friends at Jedidiah Clothing, a humanitarian apparel brand also headquartered in San Diego, and combined our design skills with their manufacturing and distribution channels to develop the “Help Heal Japan” shirt. We kept it simple–for every $20 T-shirt sale, we donated $15 to World Vision’s Japan Relief Fund.

The campaign reached even greater success than we could have hoped. Nordstrom picked up the line to carry inside each of their locations nationwide and more than 20 other retailers joined them. Our collection with Jedidiah was featured in multiple media outlets including Women’s Wear Daily, Antenna Magazine, GOOD Magazine, the Los Angeles Times and even Vogue Mexico. In just two weeks, the collection raised more than $43,000, at which point World Vision announced that they had raised all of the money they needed, to the tune of $10 million, and were no longer accepting donations for Japan.

Following our model of Uncommon Sense, we used our design thinking, partnerships and good communication to move quickly to develop a program to raise additional dollars that would aid in the restoration and repair of Japan.

Where there is happiness you will find success
The path to personal or corporate happiness can be found in the simple, yet powerful, equation of mixing a healthy dose of generosity toward others, with equal parts of gratitude for the good things in your life.

People or companies who show their appreciation and gratitude attract the admiration and interest of those around them. And, grateful people stand out in a crowd with their intriguing and infectious energy by attracting interest, curiosity, conversation and friendship.  After “I love you”, saying “Thank you” is probably the most affirming and energizing statement that we can use toward one another, especially when it’s combined with total sincerity.

Together, these powerful, positive words help to fuel a grateful and happy heart. Brands that show their appreciation and gratitude inspire and attract loyal fans with a natural curiosity to engage more actively.

This powerful combination is quite the opposite from individuals and brands who are self-centered and focused on self-promotion. They lack the depth of relationship to move from a fan to a real friend.

Buy your friend a coffee instead of yourself. It will make you a happier person.
Recent studies found the Uncommon Sense principle, “It’s better to give than to receive” provides a rich groundwork for innovation in relationship development and customer retention. Spending money on others, or giving to charity puts a bigger smile on your face than buying things for yourself, according to Michael Norton, a professor at Harvard Business School. Most people think that if you make more money you are going to be happier, but it actually doesn’t have a huge impact on overall happiness. But, how you spend does make a tangible difference.

Norton’s study examined how much people earn, how they spend, and asked them to rate their own happiness. Regardless of income, the people who spent money on others reported an increase in personal happiness, while those who spent more on themselves did not.

Do what you say and say what you do.
The literal meaning of sincerity is a virtue in which we do what we say we’re going to do—it’s speaking and acting truthfully. And for many it’s very hard to follow through on. Sincerity and authenticity are close relatives, and brands and the people who manage them are striving to be more authentic. There’s an opportunity to deliver on both with energy and determination that shows caring and consideration for others, helping to differentiate one brand from another.

Heston Blumenthal, best known for his famed Fat Duck restaurant, has infiltrated the London restaurant scene with his latest establishment, Dinner. Located in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Hyde Park, Dinner integrates the stylistic innovations of interior designer Adam Tihany and Blumenthal’s inventive cuisine for an unprecedented culinary experience. The kitchen is surrounded by glass, giving diners an opportunity to catch a glimpse of the chefs in action and the pulley-operated spit used for slow roasting is reminiscent of a sixteenth century royal court fixture. Blumenthal looked to British library cookbooks for inspiration to develop his throwback menu. Take for instance his “Meat Fruit”—based upon an old Tudor recipe, the trompe l’oeil orange is actually a foie gras parfait covered in a mandarin glaze. From the elegant yet playful design to the refined yet irreverent approach to British gastronomy, Dinner is a nod to both historic tradition and modern innovation that will surely be a meal to remember.

NO DIRTY LAUNDRY WITH THE FRENCH, IT’S PURE WORLD-CLASS SERVICE WORTH EVERY PENNY.

When was the last time you had your socks blown off in the service department? I’m talking about customer service where you’ve walked away from spending your hard earned dollars on something you’ve waited a long time to buy, where you’ve saved diligently for something special and the service you received was so exceptional, memorable and entertaining that you just smiled and had to tell someone? It doesn’t happen very often but when it does, you remember it and want to share it.

My wife and I recently took a trip to Napa Valley to celebrate a milestone anniversary and explore the wine culture for a Bulldog innovation project. Included on our list of must-dos was a trip to Thomas Keller’s world-renowned French Laundry. We had high expectations for an amazing experience, but we both had very little idea of what to expect in terms of the details.

The mystique is fueled because they make it almost impossible to get a reservation, a brilliant tactic to drive demand. They open their reservation line on a Tuesday for reservations two months later, and it’s still virtually impossible to get a table. Well, we were fortunate that our hotel booked our table in advance, but to my surprise the reservation was for 11am, a wee bit early for lunch, I thought. Nevertheless, we jumped out of bed, dressed to impress, hopped in the car and made our way to the restaurant with plenty of time to spare (you don’t want to miss your reservation time). As luck would have it, we got caught behind the stragglers from the Napa Valley Marathon, and we moved painfully slowly toward our culinary destination. Bugger, we were going to be late. I called, no answer of course, and I began to panic. This is a place you just can’t be late for! I called my hotel, “You need to call them to tell them about the marathon, we didn’t mean for this to happen, tell them how sorry we are!” Tension was running high in the car, but it got worse when we finally reached the right street and I couldn’t find the actual restaurant. Stressed, my wife insisted on getting out and asking for directions.

We finally pulled into the intimate gravel parking lot and it felt like we were the first ones to arrive. The charming brick cottage on the outside was abuzz with organized activity, and had the most sophisticated of settings on the inside. It reminded me of the home where I grew up in England. We were greeted by an immaculately dressed staff member who requested our names, and then out of nowhere, a purposeful man glanced at my attire which, on reflection, was highly questionable given the rules. My large scarf made me look like a member of the PLO and my jacket was not a blazer or a suit, but a Chris Evans on-stage rock star blazer. His very clear instruction was, “Sir, please do keep your jacket on in the dining room”, and I have to say that rattled my cage a little.

He seated us and left us in the hands of our main server, who made our entire experience a pleasure from the minute we sat down. She made us feel comfortable and at home. We described ourselves as casual, rather than hard core, foodies and she artfully served with a careful balance of total conviction about the food and an approachability in her service and conversation about life and the details. The sommelier was just as skillful in designing our wine journey for the day, laughing with us and educating us about his choices. While the food was everything you might expect and more, the wine pairings expertly matching each course, and our intimate time together over almost five hours of world-class culinary art will be remembered for the rest of our days.

For me there was a real WOW beyond the culinary adventure in the middle of this wonderful event. On arrival I’d spent the first ten minutes joking and stressing with our server about my rock star jacket, concerned I was inappropriately dressed. But my jacket was a very expensive Paul Smith limited edition. With a subtle, out-of-sight explanation to the dining room commander, Lawrence Nadeau, the Maitre d’, soon appeared tableside and effortlessly topped off our glasses of champagne. With a slight grin and Seinfeld delivery, he said, “And Sir, that is a fine jacket”, and then he was gone. Brilliant, subdued and artful expectation management. I wasn’t a celebrity and I wasn’t dripping in billions—I was just another customer. But every aspect of our experience was managed with grace, subtlety and personality. These people are serious about the food and the service, but don’t take themselves too seriously in the process. Masterful.

On the way out I complimented Lawrence on the whole experience. He’s been the Maitre d’ since the restaurant opened 18 years ago. He gave huge credit to Thomas Keller’s amazing leadership qualities. That was a wow experience we will always remember.

NOTHING PUTS THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE QUITE LIKE A MOUNTAIN

We spend a lot of our time at Bulldog creating learning environments for executive and innovation teams, unlocking creativity from within and helping them solve their own problems. As part of this work, we recently spent a weekend in the mountains of Breckenridge Colorado working closely with a good friend to map out the building blocks of an adventure-focused learning course for executives and individuals wanting to unlock their full potential and determine what’s next in life. We spent time talking through the big questions we all face and the meaning of life with our friend Dick Savidge, the ultimate outdoor adventure guide and professional counselor.

On Saturday morning we started out on a snowshoe adventure into the wilderness that would take us to 13,000 ft. We looked at the map and picked a route up, prepared the equipment we needed, and like life, we knew where we wanted to end up. What we couldn’t plan for were the variables and challenges along the way—we had no idea what tree wells we might fall into, and no idea just how serene and beautiful the scenery would be on our path to the summit.

We hiked through the snow, taking one step in front of the next, as snowshoes don’t allow you to do anything more. As we made every effort not to slide down the mountain path, I was reminded that snowshoeing along mountainous ridge lines on hard and then soft snow is analogous to our journey through life. We need to pay attention to the importance of each step we take or we’re likely to end up in the wrong place. With each step on the mountain there was silent time to think and reflect, and look at the breathtaking surroundings. As we climbed out of the tree line and the summit became dauntingly visible, the work it was going to take to get there became clear. There’s nothing quite like a mountain to put life in perspective, but we were going to the top and it was going to be a hard climb. Each step required determination and perseverance at 12,000 ft and the reward of getting to the top made me appreciate all of the steps it took to reach the summit. If we focus on the destination and ignore the importance of each step, we miss out on the very journey itself.

AND DON’T ABUSE CHILDREN

At the beginning of May I’d just finished a rigorous five hour snowshoe adventure through the Hoosier Pass up to 13,000 feet and back with my friends at Savidge Adventures. We’d been high in the back country and hadn’t seen a soul. As we were coming back to our truck we saw eight Harleys and their accompanying leather and chain clad gang of bearded bikers ominously milling around. They looked tough from a distance in all black and it got me thinking, why do we make instant judgments about groups of people who are different than us based on appearance? We’re all a little quick to judge books by their covers.

The closer we got to the group, the more leather and chains we could see but as we got within earshot, one of them asked if I could take a photo of the group. That was my invitation and out came the banter—they wanted to know if I was Australian, if the could take a photo of me on one of their bikes, and we all had a good chuckle. Then I noticed they were all wearing the same “Bikers Against Child Abuse” badge. So I asked lots of questions, like if they’d been abused, and the amazing story of complete kindness they told was a lesson in never judging books by their covers. They offer a protective service to children who have been abused, and have a very clear mission:

Bikers Against Child Abuse (BACA) exists with the intent to create a safer environment for abused children. We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children to not feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization. We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children. We desire to send a clear message to all involved with the abused child that this child is part of our organization, and that we are prepared to lend our physical and emotional support to them by affiliation, and our physical presence. We stand at the ready to shield these children from further abuse.

I particularly enjoyed this: We do not condone the use of violence or physical force in any manner, however, if circumstances arise such that we are the only obstacle preventing a child from further abuse, we stand ready to be that obstacle.

Hoosier Daddy?

Pitching your business to potential investors is like dating. It’s time draining, incredibly stressful and an emotional roller coaster. And like dating, the overall process seems to be in desperate need of an overhaul.

There’s not much we can do to change the dating world, but if you’re about to meet with potential investors, here are five slightly off-kilter tips to consider:

1. Find a partner with value – Try to identify potential venture partners who match your value-system, have deep domain experience in your sector, and can help you fill in your management experience gaps. Money these days is indeed a commodity. What you’d much prefer is a partnership with a venture team who can, and are willing to, truly help you realize your potential.

Start the process by carefully researching the companies you want to invite in to talk about your business. Develop a list of criteria for selecting them, look at their portfolio and investment themes and make sure you understand who you’re going to be sharing your opportunity with. Specifically, make a point of understanding the value they might bring to your venture in terms of the following:

• How do they describe their values as a partner?
• What do they look for in partnering with start-up or early-stage companies?
• What experience and expertise do the partners you might work with have in your business sector or industry?
• Have they themselves actually run a start-up company? A venture backed start-up?
• What is their track record for success with other companies in your space?

Speak with the CEOs of their portfolio companies to determine if the investor practices what they preach. Ask specific questions about how the VCs conducted themselves when circumstances were going off the rails. Difficult events tend to reveal the true character and capabilities of people—and this is where you want a real partner.

2. Get your head in the right gear – Make no mistake, this dance is highly nuanced and you need to be mentally prepared for the emotional ups and downs of pitching your business. Don’t lose faith in your idea and your vision. You (should) know this business better than anyone else on the planet and be absolutely resolute in the market’s need for it. Don’t let anyone take the wind out of your sails with their critique or disinterest. Have thick skin and a questioning mind.

3. Listen and ask lots of questions – For the most part, you’ll be speaking with very smart, and sometimes hardnosed, professional investors who see hundreds of opportunities each year. Listen closely to what they have to say, even (or perhaps especially) if their comments are negative. They may see holes in your strategy that you’re too close to the problem to see. Take it all in and make sure you process it correctly. You’re likely to get 100 opinions that are different. Listen to them all, but take heed of the patterns.

4. Substance over style – Save everyone time by developing your prospective business plans, presentation decks, and financials as an integrated set of materials. Ensure you review your story from the perspective of someone who has no idea what you do, what your product is, or the credentials you have. Look at your presentation with the lens of simplicity and substance when you develop the actual content.

If you can clearly articulate your opportunity in less than two minutes, you’re ready to take a meeting. Refine and practice your presentation. You’ll be amazed at how difficult it can sometimes be to really define what it is that you’re doing.

Make your story easy to follow and straightforward in flow using these tips:

• Be specific and get straight to the point
• Secret sauce sells, so be clear and compelling about your competitive points of difference, patented technologies, team and your point of differentiation
• Choose your content strategically. Everything you include needs to make a very clear point and not be there to fill space
• Tell a very clear and concise story that is both visually and verbally commanding
• Be very clear on the execution plan to get to market, including your resources and estimated timing

5. Size does matter – VCs like big markets with cheap (that’s a relevant term) and quickly scalable products. If you’re not addressing a $1B market, forget getting top tier venture money. Make sure you have supporting data to reflect the size of the opportunity and how quickly you think you can get there.

Above all, be able to clearly explain why the market needs and will buy your product. Additionally, be realistic in calculating the size of the investment you’re looking for before you start the conversations and understand just how much of the company you are likely to trade for the investment. Don’t take more than you need, but by all means, don’t take less.

Rumor has it that we’re becoming a service-based economy. Some say we’ll be a country doing nothing else in the not-so-distant future. While I don’t buy into that extreme, if it’s remotely close to the truth, then most of us have an enormous amount of work to do. Either way, service and serving others is central to the success of companies, governments and healthy relationships between people. The relationship with customers and the importance of service are rich with interesting opportunities for new thinking to create a passionate following.

Love the ones closest to you

With product differentiation becoming increasingly harder to achieve, the relationship you have with your current customers is more valuable today than ever before. If we start with the premise that it’s more expensive to attract new customers than it is to keep than the ones you already have, why aren’t you investing more time, resources and money in serving the business you have? Why isn’t customer service the most important department in your company? Why don’t you have a Customer Love department? If you’re looking for justification to think about investing in this part of your business, look no further than Zappos, who celebrated a meteoric rise to a $1 billion on the back of exceptionally well-executed customer service delivered by passionate and a “we’ll-do-any-thing-for-you” culture.

People before profits

Make no mistake: service starts and ends with the orientation of your culture, from the top seat to the toilet seat. A culture that puts profits before people inevitably spends less time and energy connecting with and serving the customer, who, ultimately, drives the success of the business. A culture that puts the customer at the center of every decision operates with empathy, understanding and a greater likelihood of retaining customer loyalty and a share of their dollars spent. Look at the difference in the bottom lines of Southwest and its service-centric culture versus the tired and saggy legacy carriers, or compare the Four Seasons with the Marriott.

To know them is to love them.

Hundreds of millions of dollars are spent annually in the U.S. researching customer segments, profiles, needs, wants, preferences, likes and so on. Frenetic energy and significant resources are spent validating market share and the numbers, but you’d be shocked and amazed at how little people on the inside actually understand about the customers they’re making products for, and selling to. How can you improve a relationship if you don’t know the people you’re supposed to be in a relationship with? Do a quick reality check among your colleagues, ask some hard questions and you’ll find opportunities and good reason to bring the customer to life in dimensional and inspiring ways. Take a look at Starbucks’s new loyalty program, which encourages a deeper relationship and delivers benefits to both the company and the consumer.

Is it love or a curious fascination?

Take a look at what you’re currently doing to show your customers that you really care about them and that you understand them. Are you building a relationship with them, therefore gaining permission to connect with them? Is it love or are you behaving like a lazy husband or disinterested friend? There’s been a lot of talk about random acts of kindness and millions of dollars are invested in CRM technology, the attraction of friends on Facebook and the explosion of social media as a discipline for getting closer with customers, but what are you really doing for your customer that builds loyalty? And I’m not talking about coupons and discounts. Compare what Zingerman’s Deli and their related companies do for their loyal customers versus a Whole Foods.

Start by saying thank you.

When it’s all said and done, being a customer-centered company means putting the customer first. There’s a massive opportunity for every company, in almost every business segment, to explore what that means. If you start with the basic premise that it’s more rewarding to give than to take, we’d suggest taking a step back and looking at what that means to fall in love with and court your customer. Virgin Atlantic show their love and appreciation by providing business class passengers with a limo pick up to and from your destination, on both ends!